Thursday, November 14, 2013

15 Facts

SO, this has been circulating my newsfeed...but, decided instead of putting in on Facebook I'd share here.

1.) I was named after Halley's comet. In 1986, it past the closest by the Earth and will return when I'm 75 (if I make it that long.)
And yes, it is pronounced Halley--not Haley. I asked my astronomer professor.

2.) I have 3 tattoos. 2 of the 3 are comets. My biggest one has a mix of Claude Monet's the great wave, weaved in it. 


3.) I love Claude Monet.  I've been to his house and Japanese gardens in France.


4.) I bring my own cleaning supplies to hotels and clean the rooms before we unpack. And yes, this goes for nice and not-as-nice hotels. 


5.) I saw Clay Walker working out in a gym in Arlington. It took me an hour to place who he was without a cowboy hat. I went over to him and talked to him and he gave me tickets for me and my friends to his concert at Billy Bob's.


6.) At a George Strait concert with my Mom, I saw George walking by and grabbed him and wouldn't let go. Security had to pull me off.


7.) I saw Tim McGraw in Louisiana at a concert/celebrity softball game. When he was driving off in his Escalade, I jumped in the passenger window and grabbed onto his sweaty arm. He wasn't amused, but he shouldn't of had his window down.


8.) In the first week Justin and I were dating, he took me skydiving. I jumped out of the plane in a skirt and halter top. I also had to borrow someones shoes. I'm terrified of planes, heights and small spaces. It must of been love.


9.) As a kid, I was obsessed with Star Wars. I wanted to marry Han Solo or Luke Skywalker. 


10.) My mom nearly named me Harrison cranFORD. But, I was a girl. I guess mom also loved Star Wars.


11.) Growing up in Atlanta, I thought I was an alien. I pretended my laundry hamper was a rocket ship. I spent lots of time cramped in it...traveling back to my origin, 'Planet H'.


12.) I wash my hands more than a dozen times in a day.


13.) In college, I hosted my own television show called SUBTEXT. The company/show was bought out and now I can't find anymore of my episodes :/


14.) After dating Justin for 5 months, I still didn't say or know how to pronounce his last name. He finally asked me what his last name was and I had to embarrassingly admit I didn't know.

It's pronounced KA-NEWT. 

15.) I have an acute sense of smell. Some of my biggest memory triggers are by smells.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

My Testimony: Part 1

Let me start this off by saying I'm the least perfect person you'll ever meet. If, you've indeed met me.
But, for real.
I'm a BIG FAT SINNER.
Do I think I'm better than you? Nope.
Do I think my sins are less than yours? Nope.
Now, in my head I may think "Sure, I don't kill people or do awful, awful things..."

But, I'm a sinner anyway you cut it.

Being a Christian is hard.
It doesn't make life easier and if anything it isolates you from the world.

I am not one of those Christians that can spout off Bible verses when I get flustered or angry, or in a debate.
Instead, I get flustered, angry and RETREAT.

My testimony is something I haven't shared with many--in fact, I still am not ready to share it totally.

I feel God is still molding me...
but I'll share a bit.

In short, 
I was raised in a Godly-home.
I was raised by two parents that made sure I was in church on Sundays and Wednesdays. My mom taught Kindergarten at the church so I was really at the church nearly 6 days a week.  I was in every church activity that I could possibly be in, GAs, Choir, Sunday school, you name it.

And, like the good Christian girl handbook says---I became a Christian at a young age in VBS. I loved my preacher and thought of him as a grandfather figure....
My church was my second home.

Now, that's about where my perfect life stops...because, well--I ain't perfect.
Not only am I sinner by nature, but I was born with rebellious bone. 
I was the black sheep of the family....and being sneaky was half the fun.
To say that I was a bit wild, is an understatement.  
I was wild--and I made very few apologies than.
And if I could go back and talk to THAT Halley--I would of slapped her a few times--made her put on some decent clothes and tell her to forget about BOYS until you're out of college. 

I am not making excuses for myself....
and to be honest, I don't know why I did MOST of things I did.
I knew better.
I really did.
But, I still CHOSE to do wrong.

I now apologize to my parents...because, goodness they had a lot to deal with.
ANYWAY---things in Atlanta were not easy.
I mean, they were easy in a sense....but I felt like I had to deal with some 'adult-situations' in my early life.

My Dad was accused of doing something awful to a co-worker.
She made an AWFUL and horrible accusation against him because my Dad caught her and two other employees stealing from him.

They had been embezzling from my dad for years---and they had stolen thousands upon thousands of dollars from him and hiding it.  
They were successful because one of the ladies in charge of the stealing was also in charge of the books, transactions and accounts in the office. 

She had started off small enough at first, but over the years she began getting brave and stealing more and more.

And, they also blind-sided my dad because he is a caring and a laid back man. He trusted them. 

The woman who was doing the most stealing, was refereed to me and my brother as Aunt Sally**.  
To us, she was like family. 
We never thought she would be lying not only to us but to all the patients that came and saw my father.
And who would ever think that their 'Aunt' would steal from them so blindly?
**names have been changed.

My dad eventually figured things out and when he confronted them, one of the women made this claim, in order to hurt him and deflect what they were doing.

But, people didn't know that. 
They just listened to the sensational part of it.
A dentist, this doctor, a DEACON IN THE CHURCH, a husband and a father---r*ped this woman.
(I hate the 'R' word. It pains me to type it)

I had to live in this fish-bowl of a town with rumors circulating about my father.
A man that I knew didn't do this.
My dad, the man who would give his life for me, his wife and my brothers.
A man who spent his every free weekend devoted to softball tournaments and baseball games...
This same man who was a Sunday school teacher for years and years,
This man who cried when I was born,
This same man who cried when he watched his own father succumb and die to cancer.

My father was now accused of one of the worst crimes that a person can commit against another person, besides murder.
He had to prove to everyone else he was innocent by going to court. 
Not only that, but he had to fight for his medical license in court as well.

Going to court took years and lots of money to lawyers.
I was in high school and having to live with very mean people that said cruel and untrue things to me about my dad. I mean, isn't high school drama hard enough?

I'll never forget the time I sat in Geometry class.
I was trying my best to understand what Mr. Dillinger was talking about in his lesson....I was never good at Geometry.  My world forever changed when one of the older classmates turned to say something to me.

It was like in the movies, the whole class got quiet when she turned from the front of the class and looked back at me and said, 
"I had an appointment with your dad--but my mom canceled it when we heard he raped children."

(Stories in small towns is like playing 'Telephone' )

I felt like every eyeball was on me in that moment. 
This uncontrollable heat rising from my chest, neck and face. 
I wanted to explode. 
To punch her. To kick her. To scream. 
TO TELL HER, "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND YOU IDIOT!? YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MY FATHER?!"

This pain hit me in the heart and stomach. I felt the heat radiating from my body...I was left, shaking, sick and utterly speechless.

Still to this day, that girl--makes me mad.
She said it so casually, 
like "I hear we are having pizza in the cafeteria today."

She didn't realize how her words stung me. Burning their cruelty in my heart and soul.

People hurt people.
I wish I could say I was blameless from then on out.

However, I went on to hurt others. 
In fact, I think because I hurt---I hurt others even easier.
I had become cold in the heart, learning that perhaps that's the best way to be. 
If I had no feelings, no emotions--then I wouldn't get hurt. 

I was just like that girl, not thinking about what my words and actions could do to someone else.

Of course, my father went to court and he was proven innocent on all accounts.
The rape kit that the woman had sent off was staged and faked by her and her boyfriend. The others involved in the stealing also admitted to their wrong doings.

But, the damage had been done.
Pain, horrible pain---had been had.

Life did go on...and things got better, no doubt.
But, I was changed.
I changed because I realized you can't trust others.

I also learned who were true friends....
and who would leave you when life got tough.

But, that's life.
And life continued to have it's ups and downs....

--until next time,
hk

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Kix turns ONE: part 2

This post is a week late, but that's kinda the story of my life. 
We had an amazing, fun-filled weekend for Kix's FIRST birthday!

Justin, had been away a week in NYC for work and he returned right before midnight on Kix's birthday. So he was kinda a present for Kix as well, lol.
I was SO thrilled to see him. Seriously, I don't know what I'd do without my rock. God is ultimately my foundation but Justin is my cornerstone.  He is such an amazing father. He bathes the boys every night that he is home, helps feed them dinner and plays and plays with them. On weekends, he takes them everywhere with him like they're his pride and joy. And they are!
Justin is such a hands-on father regardless the amount of work he does every week. (80-90 hr work week.)

ANYWAY, that week away from him with the stomach virus and absolutely no help made me appreciate him SO MUCH!

I digress, so, that next day we started the morning with pumpkin pancakes for Kix---and then we went to Kie's soccer game with balloons decorating his stroller. Kie and Kix both LOVE balloons.
And since Kie's soccer game is at Zilker Park, we went and rode the beloved train around the park.  Of course, we had balloons in tow as well since Kix was the special birthday boy.

After that we headed home for the babies to get a good nap in because we were heading to the FAMILY FUN FESTIVAL at the Quarries.

We also did a birthday photo shoot with Kix (that I did) and it went so smoothly.
Seriously, babies this age are so easy to take pictures of---
it's when they turn into toddlers that things really get challenging.

That night we had so much fun at the Quarries.  There were so many games and fun activities. I also got to see lots of our friends from church and many of the kids from our Sunday school class.
It was such a fun time and the weather was perfect, a little chilly breeze matched with sun-filled skies. (Just like the night I went into labor with him!)

Kie loved all the fun games and of course, he got to 'win' candy.
We all really enjoyed ourselves :)

Once home we got dinner from Central Market and Kix got special cupcakes that his daddy decorated.  We had a sweet, little celebration, sang Happy Birthday and it was special and intimate. Just watching my two little boys together made my heart so full and happy.
---------------------
That night I cherished every single minute with Kix. And, I thought back to a year ago...I remember the never-ending back labor and how it was so different from the labor I experienced with Kie. I remember thinking I couldn't be in labor yet because I wasn't due for another two weeks. But, the weather was changing and a cold front was coming in...plus, a full moon was expected so maybe this could be bringing a baby too?
(truth is, my body just starts labor quicker than most.)

I called the nurse and the office was about to close...so I told her about my pain I had been in all day and she said since my doctor was on call to come in to the hospital to be checked.

As usual, I took my time getting ready--I cleaned my already clean house. Got my makeup on--and called Chelsea to see if she could be ready in case we were having a baby. Of course, it was a Friday and it was nearly 5pm--rush hour....she lived nearly 30 minutes away in GOOD traffic.

We headed to the hospital with Kie---and my doctor came in to check me, low and behold I was in full on labor and dilating quickly.  I was already 6cm and about to have a baby. (Of course, I cannot have a baby in the natural way due to my pelvic bones.) So, I was going to be rushed to a csection pronto.

Nerves set in, prayers were uttered and my doctor even prayed aloud with me.
My little, now bloody, paper of Bible verses that I clung onto during bed rest the last 3 weeks was in my hands...(bloody now because the nurse jabbed me a few times to get my IV in.)

My doctor, who I loved, said he would give Chelsea 20-30 minutes to get to the hospital for Kie but we couldn't wait much longer because they didn't want the baby to descend any lower....otherwise, they'd had to PUSH him back up the birth canal. Something they had to painfully do to Kie a few times.

Of course, all went well after all :) for a csection.
My sweet boy was delivered...and instead of him going to another hospital or to the NICU I got to meet Kix, an hour later after delivery. (Sucks for us c-section moms!) But, regardless this birth experience was a lot easier than Kie's.

Those first few days in the hospital were a blur.
Kix never went to the nursery unless he had to get checked. But, instead he stayed in the room with me all 4 days. Yes, 4 days--you read that right. I stayed longer due to excessive bleeding and the fact I was very sick and allergic to the pain meds. 

It seems like yesterday but also a lifetime ago.
It is hard watching him grow so fast, but I also love this age.

I love watching him learn--and how his personality gets bigger and bigger each day.

It's bittersweet for us, mommies :)

I'm still a crazy mom with this second baby.
I'm overly protective and I don't care what others say about it.
My babies are MY babies.
I was put on this Earth to protect them, to raise them in HIM and to be their fighter.
I may not do everything right but I'm learning.

I've learned a lot this year--about balance and multi-tasking.
Kix, was meant to be in our family---just like Kie-or me or Justin.

I'm SO, SO, SO grateful for my sweet, little curly-headed, smart, walking, wild, NEVER-sleeping, cuddle bug baby boy!!! :)

Now be ready for about a half a million posts of my baby. These pictures make me so happy. Love this little baby boy!

until next time,
hk























































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