The Truth about My Blogging

Well hello! It's only been forever and a day since I've last posted.

Lots has happened.  Life happened.  For a week or so I was without a computer (ok, without my OWN computer)  I had my husband's of course.  But I took that week off to NOT blog.  And to be honest....it was great!

I feel guilty a lot being a new mom.  I get guilty when I put Kie in his swing longer than 10 minutes (no lie), I feel guilty when I nurse him to soothe him when he is crying, I feel guilty he now is paying attention to the TV and I turn it on to cartoons so I can perhaps put up the dishes from the night before.

I also feel guilty when I blog when he is awake and I also feel guilty when I blog when he sleeps.

I say that because I personally feel I should either be napping with him (though the days of napping during the day have almost been extinct) I also feel I need to use that time to be a good wife and do my wifey duties. --Like cleaning, folding, doing laundry, making myself presentable for my husband when he gets home, dusting, cleaning the bathrooms, vacuuming, mopping, doing yard work....or whatever it may be!

So yes, blogging--though I like it in some ways, also makes me feel bad in others.

I just feel that there are days when I need could be using my time better.

I read a lot of blogs. Ok, I USE to read a lot of blogs.  And some of the women out there in the blogging world seem to do it all!

They work full time jobs, have children, they cook and clean their houses and can also manage to be a sex kitten for their husbands! And not to mention cook a gourmet 4 course meal and do a little crafty project for the week!  Which is either added to their collection of beautiful things in their immaculate house OR just to show to other bloggers how talented they are.

Now I write that, in completely niceness.  It's hard to tell when people write what tone they are using!!!!

I am truly amazed by those women! I really am!  But, I'm not that woman.

I'm a new mommy that DOES prefer an immaculate house.  I do wish I was back to my pre-pregnancy size jeans.  I wish I was able to sport my bikini this summer.  I wish I was able to find time to be crafty, to sew my babies own clothes, make my own curtains or aprons or what have you!

 I wish I had time (and patience) to go to the grocery store and even more so to prepare the yummy meal while Kie sleeps soundly in his crib.  And I also wished he slept through the night, allowing me my MUCH needed beauty rest.  Because of course the next morning I'll be up at 5 am to run my 6 miles before I make breakfast for my husband who leaves for work (he is the CEO of a very big company here in town).  He also just works because he likes to, and not because we need the money.

Ah, actually writing that and re-reading it makes me laugh.  Because I wouldn't want that.

In reality, I'm a new mommy that washes her hair every other day.  I wear Victoria Secrets.......................yoga pants (thought I was going somewhere else with that didn't you!) I wear my hair in a pony tail because chances are Kie will either spit up in it, or he prefers to just pull it out in clumps.

I'm the new mommy that is lucky to cook a few meals a week (with much help from Hamburger Helper or from Costco ready meals).  I'm the new mommy that prefers to NOT look at my new cellulite but will definitely be using a spray can of tan to help hide those new dimples.  I will be the new mommy on the beach this summer rocking my sundresses rather than my skimpy bathing suits.

I'm the mommy that rarely wears makeup.  In fact, I only put it on once a week.

I'm the mommy that wants my baby to grow up in church.  But sometimes skips on the services because the baby refused to sleep the night before.

I'm the new mommy that sometimes stays in pjs all day (very blessed for this actually) and lays on the floor reading children books, making faces and rolling on blankets with my baby.

I'm the new mommy that probably could have more time in the day if I worked at it better.  If I used every moment that Kie occupied himself to either cook, clean or be crafty.  But I'm not.

I am not a lazy mommy.  I usually have a super clean house, a clean baby (diaper and clothes) and most days out of the week I find time to also be wearing clean clothes (have clean hair) and maybe even have exercised.  Of course my form of exercising means I'm pushing my running stroller around with my lil man.

I am the mommy that prays every night thanking God for  giving me another day of life.  Thanking God for the blessings.  Thanking God that he allowed me a child and a husband that I love.

I am the mommy that DOES wish I was perfect looking .  But rather have my bundle of joy then any model's body.  I'm also the mommy that has the husband that prefers my new bigger butt (excuse my honesty) and could care less if my body now dons a few scars and dimples that I didn't have before.

I'm the new mommy that snaps way too many pictures. (Be it good or bad.)

I'm the new mommy that kisses and smothers my son because I know my days of kissing and hugging will be cut short because babies grow up to be teenagers or also because life on earth does have a time stamp.

There are a million and one things that I WISH I could do.

 I wish there were more hours in a day and that I didn't require sleep.  But, I'm no machine!

I realize some moms out there are machines! I cannot say how amazed I am by yall!  From the moms with more than one child, to mommies that work full time and raise kids, to the wives out there that are able to do it all...yall are awesome!  I need a lesson! (Seriously, feel free to email me with some pointers!)


Well, my little man is waking up from his milk coma.

I do promise to update on these past few weeks.

From BLUE MAN GROUP, our date night out, to having the MIL in town, to me playing Cupid this last weekend, to Valentine's...whoa, lots to catch up on!

Until next time,

-Hk-

Insomnia, part 2

I'm calling this blog Insomnia, Part 2....because I wrote a blog in June (click to read) about another time I was having problems sleeping.  Except then, I was pregnant.  This time around I really should be able to sleep anytime, anywhere since sleep is one thing my life definitely lacks.

Kie woke for his usual feeding at 1:30am--and I've been up every since.  In fact, I'm sure I'll stay up till his next feeding--due in an hour or so.

I just have a lot running in my head tonight!  Everything from the sermon this past Sunday to redesigning/redoing our house, to school districts for Kie (when he's grown) to family issues and the usual daily stresses of life like: when will I get the house cleaned, how I need to get the laundry done, what will I cook for dinner tomorrow, what bills do I need to pay?!


Not to mention...Justin's mom is coming in the following weekend.  And I'm wondering what we'll do when she's here, what I'll cook or will I cook, what she'll think of us as a family....?!

See, I've met her once. Just once! And when I did meet her...Justin and I were not married.  In fact, she probably thought I was just another girlfriend.

How could she of taken me seriously because I'm 11 years younger than my husband.

Yes, I married a much older man.  However, it's crazy how compatible me and J are.  He is young at heart.  He is so very in shape and the man can literally run circles around me and anyone I know.  In fact, I dated a guy younger than me once and HE seemed to be pushing his 60's.  He never wanted to do anything fun, never go out and he was b-o-r-i-n-g!

I met Justin when he was 33.  He was the most fun and interesting man I've ever known!  I mean, in the first two weeks we were dating he took me SKYDIVING! Literally one of our first dates.

Anyway, I digress.  My point it...his mother met me and probably thought I was just going to be a fling.  Thing was, when I met her I knew I was in love and going to marry her son.  Regardless of his age, or anything else for that matter.

Of course that's been over a year ago we met and we've developed a relationship through calls, emails and lots and lots of mail!  She loves to send (spoil) me, Justin and especially Kie.  I love getting packages from her.

So, we'll see how things go.

NEXT Topic....


It is WHAT I'm loving Wednesday!


Without further ado, here is what I'm loving right this instant (at 3:45 Wednesday morning!)
to play link up here! At Jamie's Blog. This Kind of Love.  


1. I'm loving my family of three.


I love having two men in my life. My husband and my son.
I grew up with brothers, whom I adore.  And I always wanted a son.  And God graciously blessed me with one.  I knew I'd be good with boys since I was use to growing up with them.  Of course, one day we may have another baby and I'd be thrilled to have a girl as well.  But, really I'm so excited I have a little boy.  Watching him with his daddy is one of the biggest joys I've ever experienced in my life!  


2. I LOVE Sunday sermons.
I love my church so very much.  I feel like every service and Sunday School lesson is exactly what I needed to hear.  


This past Sunday really opened up my eyes and heart.  The service was over the two biggest commandments in the Bible.  Jesus said "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the GREAT and first commandment.  And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself."  Matthew 22:37-40


I know it's a verse that MOST people know by heart.  I had it drilled in my head from my days in VBS.  But, I guess I really just needed a reminder of it.  Also it meant more to me now than ever.  Of course I love God, but really I need to love God more.  In a more personal and intimate way.  Like the way I love my son or husband.  Perhaps it's because I'm older or more so because I'm now a wife and mother.  The way I love now is totally different than I ever had before.  I now have a better understanding of unconditional love.  Because I truly have this love for my son.  I practice it with my husband, but I have not mastered it to say the least.  Of course I love my husband, regardless.  But it's easier to act like I don't when I get mad or angry.  
Anyway, I need to learn to love God with everything in me.  Not to love Him like He is this big massive, invisible God. But instead a God that is there for me ALL the time.  My merciful, loving God, my Father, my Creator.  I'm His child and I want to love Him in a way that I want Kie to love me.


With that being said, I also need to love my neighbor.  Which is a lot harder to do!


I once heard that if you have a problem with someone you should PRAY for them.  Because soon you will have a hard time not liking a person if you're always praying for them.


And you know what, I do this!  I really do!  Now, I'm going to be honest.  It is so hard for me to pray for people that I don't like.  I don't pray out loud, I usually pray in the quietness of my mind.  Usually when I'm about to fall asleep or nap (yes I know I'm not as diligent as I'd like).  Anyway, I may pray for the man that cut me off in traffic, or for the mean girl from high school years ago, or for the mean girls in adult life--didn't realize there'd be so many! And of course people that did me wrong or slighted me.  


It is really hard praying for these people.  Sometimes God humbles me enough that I feel compassion and understanding for some.  Other times I pray for them bitterly....which I don't think God wants me to do.


What I'm saying is I REALLY need to work on loving others as myself.  
I really need to be more like Christ in so, so many ways.  


Sometimes I'm daunted by the challenge.  Sometimes (many time)I fail and fall on my face.  Sometimes I'm scared to tell others I'm a Christian because of all the mistakes I've made.


I'm here to say I am sinner, I'm here to say I'm not nice or good or even close to being good most of the time.  I'm just a normal person. A normal mommy.  A normal wifey.  A normal daughter, sister and friend. 


But I do have an EXCEPTIONAL God and Savior.  And I know that I need to try and stop being normal and to strive to meet His calling to do and be better than I am.


Wow, sorry I got a bit preachy there.  Well it's 4 am--and my husband will be up at 5am to go to a men's Bible study this morning before work.  This transformation in Justin is phenomenal.  Like I've said time and time again, my husband has always been a great man with a great heart.  But now, WOW....wow, he is changing even more.  Let's just say, one day when Justin shares his testimony...I think his story will touch a lot of people.


alright, this momma is going to attempt to sleep some.  


Until next time,


-HK-

Sorry for the bad photo quality--cell phone picture.
My two sweet sleeping boys.  

Winter Wonderland--Austin, Texas

I got this beautiful picture from my friend's Facebook (Thanks Sam!) and she wasn't sure who captured this great picture. So if you'd like credit for it---then email me and I'll definitely give you credit for this amazing picture of Austin! (knuthfamily@hotmail.com)

Snow Day & Happy 3 Months!

It's a beautiful SNOWY day here in Austin, Texas!  The sun is shining, the sky is a beautiful blue and the trees, houses and cars are all covered in white snow!  Of course it is starting to melt already, but I was able to take in the quiet, peaceful snow day a bit early.  Kie and I were up nursing around 3:45 am and we watched the snow fall peacefully while the rest of the city slept.  Of course, like an excited school girl, I woke up Justin to inform him about our winter wonderland.  He then informed me he would see it in two more hours because "it will still be there when I get up."

It seemed most of our friends and family got classes and work cancelled because of the snow day. Not Justin.  He tried going into work around 7 this morning but could not get down Lamar. (A major street that goes downtown to his work.)  He witnessed a few cars playing 'bumper cars' and drove back home to wait it out for a bit. 

He then went in at 9AM, leaving me and little man to enjoy the snow day together.  

So far we have worn two snow outfits.  The reason for changing is because Kie is an explosive diaper man.  He prefers to poo outside of his diaper.  He is a magician!  So very talented!  As soon as I change his little diaper and clean up his cute little bottom (or sometimes it calls for a bath) he is already starting on the next!

Also, yesterday was his 3rd month of life!

How crazy and bittersweet, he is growing up so fast! I clean out his closet and drawers almost weekly.  For now I'm stashing his clothes in some boxes for the next baby.  He even has a lot of clothes he's worn just once, or some he never got to wear.  Right now he is wearing 3-6 months, but those are sometimes even too small, depending the brand.  Kie is a big ole boy!  I love his sweet chunky monkey legs and his double chins.  It makes me feel good to know momma's milk is all he needs and is making him grow.  And Justin has so much fun picking out clothes for him each weekend.  I swear, Justin loves clothes shopping as much as I do or more.  He always use to spend money on 'going-out' shirts and prided himself in having clothes that were one-of a kind. Seriously, he would never go to The Gap or Macy's for a shirt.  Instead he went to a few local shops that sale only one print of each shirt. And when we dated, he would shell out $200+ dollars for a button down or a t-shirt!  (No ladies, not those horrible Affliction ones!) 

Needless to say, shopping for a gift for him was a nightmare! ;) That has all changed now! Instead his infamous shirts are often getting spit up, poo or pee'd on!  And it doesn't even phase him.  (Btw, that's a sexy look to us momma's, when a man doesn't mind some spit up.) Anyway now Justin shells out the money for baby clothes and duds.  It's the cutest thing.  

Of course, I do miss how J would get all dressed up to go out with me.  He would be wearing his tailored shirts, jeans and European shoes...hmmmm! But, then again I can't expect him to dress to the 'T' when I wear mostly workout/leisure ware.  I wear workout clothes in hopes I'd be inspired. But, in reality elastic is friendly to a new mommy.  Though, every weekend I force myself into jeans for accountability purposes.  --I didn't say I wore em or buttoned them! lol

LASTLY--I have a KIE STORY!

So yesterday (on Kie's 3rd month) we were reading on the couch, Elmer, the book about the patch work elephant, when I leaned in to give Kie a big ole kiss.  He was sitting there smiling and laughing, so with my eyes close.......I lean in and then "BLLAAAHHHH" Kie THROWS UP in my mouth! All the while giggling! I was startled because hello my eyes were closed and he just spit up in my mouth!  

Now, it was just a little bit because obviously I closed my mouth as soon as it hit me. It was so funny because Kie was not phased that he just projectile vomited--and he probably thought it was hilarious how his mom's face turned into a bewildered face of terror. I could not help but laugh either.  Funny how motherhood changes you?  Instead of throwing up myself, I just cleaned myself and him up and laughed!

Of course, baby spit up isn't like the usual throw up.  Still it's not something you want in your mouth...after the baby had it in his!

Anyway, that's my gross momma story.  I wanted to mention it because it will be one of those stories I share with him one day.

Well me and Little Man will be playing inside most of the day and probably venturing out in the stroller here in a few hours.  The sun is up and melting all the snow! 

This weekend we have a Super Bowl Party at our Sunday school teacher's house we may attend.  And I'm also hoping to see some friends we haven't seen in a few weeks.  And MAYBE taking Kie to swim (indoors of course!)

Stay warm everyone!  

Until next time,

-HK-

Daddy J and Kie before work

Enjoying the morning coffee before getting on the snowy roads

Father/Son time

Part of our snowy little house

sweet baby resting after playing in the snow

What I'm Loving Wednesday!

To link up go to Jamie's blog! Here!

What I'm loving!

First off, I love reading my cousin's blog  Mrs. DIY and the tennis guy!

She always has some fun craft she is doing (always cute and Pottery Barn-ish) and she's got a lot of exciting things going on in her life! 

It would be MY ideal life it I didn't have my own!

I also LOVE that when I woke up this morning....

(after our 5:00 am feeding I go back to sleep)

That Daddy J, cleaned the ENTIRE HOUSE!

He woke up at 6, changed and dressed Kie.  Cleaned the kitchen, the living room, the baby's room and started the laundry and dishes. Made coffee for me and him and got off to work before 7! I really don't know how he does it!

It takes a lot for me to get that much done when I'm with Kie all day. And he did it all before work!

My husband is amazing! I'm reminded daily how great he is and I'm forever grateful to God for blessing me with him.  

Not to mention, last Sunday he was announced at our church! He officially joined Hyde Park Baptist and the preacher told our congregation how he gave his heart to Jesus! And that he will be getting Baptized this month. In fact, he is getting baptized the 20th of this month when his mom (from Colorado) will be here.  She has never met Kie either, so it will be a big special weekend for everyone.

I am ALSO loving....

Kie's sweet baby talk!

My sweet baby loves to chat! He babbles and coos and his favorite word is "ahhhh goooooo!"  It's the cutest thing ever!

All day long he talks, smiles and gurgles! 

I'm also LOVING that it's February....

February is getting closer to SPRING time! And Spring in Austin is beautiful! Right now it's a  whopping 18 degrees! And I'm a true blue Texas gal, which means I don't fair well in the cold!

I am still in need to get in shape before  this summer time....but that is for another blog.

AND lastly....

 I'm loving this week rather than last week...

Because last week I spent my Friday night in the ER.

Since my c-section (3 months ago) I've been experiencing a lot of pain in my lower right torso.  I chalked it up to healing, ligaments re-attaching and perhaps the cold weather.

Well last Friday it was 70 degrees, and I was in immense pain. So I no longer could blame the cold weather for the sharp piercing pain in my abdomen.  I tried to relax the majority of the day, but the pain progressed.  Of course it PEAKED after the doctor's office closed and I called a 24 hour nurse who informed me she thought it sounded like appendicitis.

We got to the ER around 7 pm and I stayed there till 1:30 am.  They ran a lot of tests, checked my appendix, gall bladder, uterus, my incision, looked for cysts, check my kidneys and did a few sonograms. But they could not determine why I was in pain.

So yesterday I was finally able to get in to my doctor.  He informed me my pain is from an internal suture or something left from the surgery.  And that I should expect this pain for  6 months. 

I trust my doctor, but I find it hard to believe a suture could resonate so much pain.  And why is it hurting worse 3 months post op?

I don't know. Nor am I a doctor.

So I guess I will just suck it up and deal.  Tho I may add, when the pain strikes I can't walk, carry Kie or stand straight.

I don't take pain meds. And I'm very healthy, exercise often and eat good. So I don't know.  Even my incision from the surgery has healed up great and never had a problem!

ANYWAY...that was last weekend.  At least now I know when the pain strikes, that it's not detrimental to my health.  

I always look for the positive!

well I'm done nursing which means I'm done blogging!

Until next time,

-HK-