Sunday, October 3, 2010
So, it's Sunday and the day is beautiful. But, my heart is heavy. Sunday school and the church service were exactly what I needed and the lessons spoke directly to my heart and to my marriage.
It's amazing how God does that.
But, like I said...my heart is heavy and I have a few prayer requests. Also, if you feel like sharing any prayer requests you may have, feel free to do so! (Either comment or you can privately email me at Knuthfamily@hotmail.com) I would love to pray for you.
I definitely believe in the power of prayer.
Anyway, my prayer request is for a few things. One, Justin and I are now a one income home and I think the reality of being the soul provider has stressed my husband. He works in a high stress place and not only is he stressed but there is zero job security and his boss loves to flaunt that. He uses scare tactics to rule at work and my laid back husband, carries that stress everyday. Even if he has a smile on his face, I know he's worried that one day he may walk into work and not have a job. (A close friend of his at work walked in Friday and was fired simply because there was not enough work to go around.) Horrible, unfair and sad.
You may ask why I'm not returning to work after the baby to help out. Well, my husband really wants me to stay home for the first few years and secondly, child care in Austin is expensive. If we could find something that was worth it, we may just do that. But, he believes (and so do I) that it's important to be there with the baby for the first few years.
So, my prayer request is that my husband's stress will let up on him and he will put all his trust and worry to God. I will also be praying. I am not afraid to live life more simple and with less. Luckily, I'm not that materialistic and if I do start having an issue I will definitely pray to stop being so. Tho, it is hard in this day and age to not measure your success by the things you have. But, I know I will not take things to Heaven with me. So really, I should be okay!
Secondly, Justin and I were very social people when we first started dating. We had tons of friends and different circles of friends and slowly but surely they have all drifted away from us. Maybe a lot has to do with the fact we're now married, expecting a baby and are NOT the same people we were a year ago. Life has changed and so we changed with it. I believe the change has been great and I feel I adapted pretty well. However, I feel it's been harder for Justin. Justin is older than me and has been free to do as he pleased for his whole life. I think it's been hard on him to realize the amount of responsibility he has now. Providing for me, him and baby. I think the pressures to change into the man he feels he needs to be has always been hard on him.
Now Justin is a great man. All he does is work, work and work to provide for our family. He isn't selfish and he's patient. He's been there for me when life has been so very hard. But, that's not to say he doesn't feel the pressure and stress from me (inadvertently) and maybe society.
I just pray that he sees the changes as a good things and that God blesses him for his struggles. And with that, we need good Christian friends. I know I have some great women out there I can easily call, email or text. And I've got one great friend here in town I could easily meet with for a prayer or a talk. But, it's hard to find these kinds of friends.
I know I need more Christian women and moms for support, love and advice. And I definitely know Justin needs good Christian men for love, support and advice.
The friends we have and had, for the most part, were social friends. Friends we met up with for a good time or for a social adventure. It's not to say these people weren't good people, but maybe the reason we lost them is because God wanted us to lose them. I don't know. I know it has taken a larger toll on Justin then me (since these were primarily his friends).
I just pray that God opens some doors for Justin and myself, to meet some couples or anyone that we can learn from, depend on and grow with.
Anyway, life is good and I feel blessed everyday that I'm getting to be a mommy and that I wake up knowing I have a God that loves me, a family that loves me and a husband that loves me and tries hard to be the man he needs to be.
But those men need encouragement. And I can't be that for him always because he needs it from other men. And since Justin doesn't have a father or even (his own) family support then he needs it from good Christian men.
Well I'm going to end this before I start writing a novel. Thanks for the prayers in advance! And if anyone really has a prayer request I really would love to pray for you.
Until next time,
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